It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
