Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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