rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize