I hate your face
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
