You're completely useless in the revolution.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
