A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
