I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
