watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
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