either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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