so explain again why im purple
no
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
