just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
