Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize