i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
