I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
