who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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