We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
