Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
false alarm. still invincible.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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