PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
