He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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