i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
