Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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