so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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