I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
