I heard we made out
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
