just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
