She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
