Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
