you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Randomize
