he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
