Only a mothe r could love this liver
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
