I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
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