And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
