woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
it's like iHOP with fire
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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