awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize