careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
