It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
