found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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