Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
