"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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