how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
