Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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