you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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