That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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