Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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