Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
