We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
