When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize