Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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