Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
