God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
