She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Green mimosas i think yes
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
