I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize