grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
