its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
