did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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