we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
