Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
