So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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