So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
