i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
