Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I wanna bring you to show and tell
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
